Thursday, September 02, 2004

Who Me?... Forgive Him--Her---Them?


Who Me?... Forgive Him--Her---Them?

Of the many stories told of Abraham Lincoln, there is one that I've never
forgotten. Just as President Lincoln finished meeting with a particular gentleman,
his assistant approached and questioned him, saying, “You were talking with ... him??"
"I thought he was your enemy?” President Lincoln replied, “Yes, he was my enemy,
but now he is my friend.” “Mr. President,” replied the puzzled assistant, “if you don’t mind me commenting, you once told me you get rid of all your enemies--well, what happened?” Amused, the president responded, chuckling, “I did say that, and I've stayed true to what I said." " Since he is my friend, I no longer have him as an enemy.”

We all have been hurt by someone, some of us more than others. The real question is,
how do we deal with these persons? Do we make them our enemies, avoiding them
at every turn? Or are we like many, who brag about being Old Testament types:
“an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth?” Do we think that its our right to get revenge? Do we plot and plan for the perfect time, and then...? Indeed, when wronged, our first human reaction is to get even. Allowing our angry or hurt feelings to take over, we do foolish things we later regret. Some of us hold life long grudges, saying, "I remember...can you believe...I'm never going to forget--." These grudges become our identity and fueling our purpose for living. And before we know it we've become enemy centered people. Some of us wait for years before we're able to take revenge, and how we gloat in the fact! Maybe secretly, but we honestly
believe they had it coming, and we feel justified treating the person badly. We think its only fair to hurt them before they hurt us--- again. Our motto is “I forgive, but don’t forget.” Unfortunately, by holding on to our anger and sin we become like those people we've refused to forgive.
Let's take a look at 2 Timothy 3--

2 Tim. 3:2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters,
proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
2 Tim. 3:3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers,
incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
2 Tim. 3:4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers
of God;
2 Tim. 3:5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from
such turn away.

Forgiveness has many definitions. Someone has defined it as throwing away a stone.
When you throw it in the water or in a field, you never find it again. So perhaps we
should throw away the issue, never to find it again. C. S. Lewis has tied forgiveness to “loving others as yourself.” Apparently, he believed this meant wishing for the offender, the good you wish for yourself. Still another definition of forgiveness is, to give away my right for justice and instead offer mercy. Although these individual definitions are good, I believe the concept of forgiveness encompasses all of the above and includes this, it is a principle. Like love, joy, patience, and the like, a principle is something which we choose to do (in Christ), and the feelings come after the decision is made.

In their desire to set parameters around forgiveness, many find it easier to look at
the behavior a Christian should evidence. Wanting to get it just right, they quote the Sermon on the Mount. And indeed Christ does give behavioral instructions in Matthew 5. However, before we look at the scripture, I'd like to say that as Christians, we've likely read this passage numerous times. We know what it says, its just difficult to do. In fact, many of us if we were honest, would admit, we just don't want to be forgiving. We want pity, we want revenge! Someone must pay (for our pain). Yet contrary to our natural inclinations, the scripture says:

Matt. 5:43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy
neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
Matt. 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you,
do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully
use you, and persecute you;
Matt. 5:45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven:
for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
Matt. 5:46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not
even the publicans the same?
Matt. 5:47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others?
do not even the publicans so?
Matt. 5:48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven
is perfect.

Wow, this is a lot. In this passage, Christ not only contrasts Christian behavior with Non-Christian behavior, He expresses His desire for us to be loving and forgiving as He is. In the life and death of Christ, God Himself embodied these characteristics. In Romans 5:10, it says that even when we were enemies of God “… we were reconciled to God by the death of His Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.” After all the suffering Christ endured at the hands of those He came to save, He pronounced, “…Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). Jesus could have said, “who Me, forgive them,” just as we do. Instead, He chose to forgive us.

Like everything else God desires from us, it is humanly impossible for us
to forgive others on our own. But, we like the disciples can say, “…Lord, increase our faith” (Luke 17:5). When we accept God’s forgiveness by faith, we are also given the power to forgive others. His indwelling Holy Spirit gives this gift of forgiveness to us, enabling us to throw away the harm others did to us. He fills us with Himself, so that the good given us, we pass along to them. Then, we treat the offender with mercy, as well as respect, and give away our right to get even. It is through the Holy Spirit's power that we choose to forgive even before we are asked. Will you, like the disciples, ask God to increase your faith?

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