How develop meaningful relationships
Rafael and Ralph were friends growing up. But, as often happens, after high school they went on their separate ways. Twenty years passed by before they were in contact again; thanks to one of those internet social networks. They were catching up one day by instant messaging. The regular questions were asked: about work, social status, where they live, etc. It occurred to Ralph also to ask about Rafael's family. Rafael replied with little briefs about them. Then Ralph asked about their old friends from the neighborhood. Rafael said he knew nothing about them. He had not been in touch for a long time. This made Ralph think. "What happened?"
Ralph was reminded of a conversation he had with another friend, Bruce, about the same subject. Bruce had said that growing up he had a close network of childhood friends. Their parents were always together. In time, these gatherings faded which prompted Bruce to ask his Dad, "What happened?" To which Dad answered, "Bruce, sometimes people grow apart." Bruce then vowed to his Dad, "That is not going to happen with my friends and me." Bruce told me that he had live to eat his words. He was not in touch with none of his childhood, youth, nor college friends. Did they not care for each other? Was the relationship a fake?
The truth is that while the teacher's quarterly encourages us to develop kind, caring relationships, we end up breaking apart our relationships. Every day we hear about fights between family members, spouses, friends, coworkers, etc. And, other times we hear of people who used to be close giving the same reason for their separation. "I do not know, I guess we grew apart." Yes, it is true that not all relationships will last a lifetime. But, they can be meaningful. But how can we do this?
John wrote the answer in his letters. He is very clear that only those in the Light love their brother. Let us read,
1Jn2:9 He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now.
1Jn2:10 He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him.
1Jn2:11 But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes.
In 1 John 3: 10 -11 he says that only the righteous love their brother. Let us read,
1Jn3:10 In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother.
1Jn3:11 For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.
John further explains in a little below in the same chapter, that only those who have passed to Life love their brothers. He then compares this type of love to Jesus' love. Jesus died for the brethren, so should we. Let us read,
1Jn3:14 We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death.
1Jn3:15 Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.
1Jn3:16 Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.
1Jn3:17 But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?
Verse 15 has the key, to love like Jesus loved, eternal life must abide in you. The only way eternal life can abide in you is if The Spirit of God dwells in you. This kind of love we do not have naturally, but we can get it from God. It is with this love that we love God, and therefore that we will love our brethren.
1Jn4:20 If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
1Jn4:21 And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.
As, John says in John 3:16, God shows this love in sending Christ to die for us. He also says in 1 John 3:16 that Christ shows this love in dying for us. When we have God's love, we show it to others in sacrificing for them, as well. As John says in 1 John 3:17, when we love God we supply the needs of our brother, because we love them too. It is only when we allow Christ to abide in us, that we will develop kind, caring, and meaningful relationships. Many of them will not last long here, but, they may last eternally.
