If there is something I got out of this lesson it is that as Christians, we have no excuse for not being prepared to parent. We spend time and effort to prepare for everything else. Our careers are well planned out. Some of us go to school and train for years before ever practicing anything we learn. We put more effort in planning and preparing vacations and celebrations (such as birthday parties, weddings, etc.) than in the training and educating of our children. We put more effort in shopping wisely for products that we want than we do in raising our children. Does it mean we will not have challenges raising our children? No! It means we will be ready to tackle them when they arise.
The Bible has specific instructions on how to deal with children. Deuteronomy 4:9 says,
“Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: but teach them thy sons, and thy sons' sons;”
What we learn from God – directly, through His Word, and His servants - we are to teach to our children. I believe here lies the biggest problem. We can only teach, what we know. Do we know God? To know God is to be His friend as Abraham was His friend. Sister White wrote immensely on this subject. Child’s Guidance, The Adventist Home, Mind, Character and Personality, are just three examples of her writing on the subject. It would be well for us to read them even if we not parents. We have no excuse. We also have examples of other parents who have done a good job with their children.
To be parents requires a change in thinking and outlook on life. Living is not just about this life, but about the one to come. Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” This should be our first priority. This should be what we train our children for. Parenting then requires unconditional love and a willingness to sacrifice self. When the life of our child begins – at conception – ours ends. They become the little one that we do as unto God for (Matthew 25:40.) There must be a willingness to sacrifice self. Just like teachers plan their day for their students, we are to go to God and ask for His guidance in planning our day for our children. If you are not willing to do this, if you do not have the resources to do this, you have no business procreating. Ellen White writes, “Parents should not increase their families any faster than they know that their children can be well cared for and educated.” (E. G. White Notes for the Adult Bible Study Guide: Religion in Relationships: Page 19.)
We are role models for our children. They learn by example. They will do as we do, and not merely as we say. Consider Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” If you live yor life loving God supremely and your neighbor as He loved you, they will learn this too. If you pray in thankfulness to God, by Faith waiting to find out His will, timing and way, if you study scripture, sing hymns, and yield your will to God’s, you will train up a child in the way of the Lord. According to Sister White, the opposite example explains Exodus 34:6,7:
Exodus 34:6 And the LORD passed by before him, and proclaimed, The LORD,The LORD God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant ingoodness and truth,
Exodus 34:7 Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity andtransgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children's children, unto the third and to the fourth generation.
She says: “God did not mean in His threatenings that children would be compelled to suffer for their parents’ sin, but that the example of the parents would be imitated by their children.” (E. G. White Notes for the Adult Bible Study Guide: Religion in Relationships: Page 23.) By imitating their parents the children would suffer the consequences their parents suffered.
In 1st Samuel we have a contrast of two parents. Hannah, who dedicated her child Samuel to the Lord, and as a result, only had him for a few years with her. Samuel later was called to be priest, judge, and prophet of the Lord in Israel. Eli, the High Priest, had his two wicked sons with him all of his life. Consider the evidence. Would you be like Eli or like Hannah?
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