The Only Non-Cheating Love Is Agape

The Only Non-Cheating Love Is Agape

This week's lessons opens with the following story:

 "A pastor had been counseling a husband and wife. The problem? The husband had been having extramarital affairs. That's not an extramarital affair but, in fact, many of them. The husband tried to calm the situation by telling the wife that although he had been with other women, it didn't mean that he didn't love her. In fact, he said, he loved her more than any of the others.

As could be expected, his words—far from solving the problem—only made it worse. Why? Because if you love someone, you show it by your actions, by your deeds, not just by what you say."

 The story is troubling for more than the obvious reason.  First let's deal with the obvious: adultery is Sin.    It says in Exodus 22: ¹⁴ Thou shalt not commit adultery.

 We also read in Proverbs 22:14:  The mouth of strange women is a deep pit: he that is abhorred of the LORD shall fall therein.  This text in Proverbs 22:14, KJV, seems to say that any man who commits adultery is "abhorred of the Lord."  Obviously, it sounds very serious!  The Revised English Version says, "... is like a deep pit, he whom the Lord has cursed will fall into it." Sounds even more serious!  The Goodspeed Version says, "He with whom the Lord is angry will fall into it."

 It does not say that if a man falls into adultery THEN the Lord will "abhor" him or be angry with him; no, the idea is, that the anger and abhorrence of the Lord come BEFORE the man falls into the pit of adultery.  Sounds even more serious still!  This man apparently abhors God so much, God has no choice but abhor him.

 Why would the Lord "abhor" or be "angry" with any man?  The key word is "froward." "The froward is abomination to the Lord" (Proverbs 3:32).  Those who are recklessly, thoughtlessly, prayerlessly going on in their own way, are the "froward" people whom the Lord cannot help but "abhor."

 Then there is the not so obvious in the story.  Assumptions are made; for example, that the man is wrong.  There is an assumption that the man should know better, and it should be enough reason for him to behave in a way that is pleasing to his wife and pastor.  What if he did not know?  What if he grew up in a society, community or household where cheating was common?  This would make cheating for this man normal.  It does not make it right, simply he needs to learn. 

 Another assumption is made that he is lying about loving her.  We do not know this.  He may love her in his own way.  He may not show it in the way she or her Pastor expects. 

 The other assumption made is that she is right.  Of course we do not know anything about her.  Has she cheated in the past?  We do not know.  Has she behaved in a way to provoke him to be unfaithful?  We do not know this.  Has she committed adultery in her heart as stated in Matthew 5?   

 ²⁷Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:

²⁸But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

 Can she actually say that she has never lusted consciously or subconsciously after a man she is attracted to?  We do not know this.  There is one sad truth, if she never found out about his multiple affairs she would not sought counseling.  It would not be an issue. 

Human love only seeks after its own.  It will lie and cheat in order to please itself or escape terrible consequences.  In turn, God's love – agape, not charity - is spelled out in 1 Corinthians 13,

⁴Agape suffereth long, and is kind; agape envieth not; agape vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

 ⁵Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

 ⁶Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

 ⁷Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

 ⁸Agape never faileth:  (Italics for emphasis supplied by author)

 How different would the story be if the woman's concern was not for herself, but for her husband's eternal life?  In other words, that her main concern would be not that he is unfaithful to her, but that his unfaithfulness to her shows that he does not have fellowship with God, that he is not walking in the Light, and does not know God( 1 John 1:6, 7; 1 John 2: 3). This man's behavior shows what he really thinks of Jesus and the Cross.  This gives her sorrow, because He is missing on so much and she wants him to know Jesus as she does.  How different would it be? 

 

Forgiveness in Room 283

Forgiveness in Room 283

 

KENNETH H. LIVESAY was a chaplain in a hospital.  He tells this story of an incident that had a dramatic impact in his life. 

 

THE NURSE CAME TO the room where I was visiting a patient. "Chaplain," she said, "the woman in room 283 wants to talk with you."

 

I found my way to room 283. As I seated myself in a chair near the bed the woman asked, "Chaplain, will you forgive me?"

 

Somewhat stunned, I replied, "I have visited with you several times, and you have never offended me in any way. What do you mean, will I forgive you?"

 

Then she told her story. "When I was a young woman I began to sell my body for money. This went on for some time until I discovered I had a venereal disease. It was necessary for me to have surgery to remove the diseased organs of my body. Later I married, but I never told my husband about my past life. Chaplain, I have carried the burden of my sin all of my life, and I cannot bear it any longer. You are the only person to whom I have told this story. Please, forgive me."

 

I told her that she had not sinned against me, but she had violated her body and sinned against God. Then I said, "Let me share some good news with you." Turning to 1 John 1:9, I read, "'If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrigh­teousness'" (NIV).

 

"How do I confess?" she asked.

 

''We simply pray to God and ask for forgiveness."

 

She said, "Will you pray, asking God to forgive me? I don't know how to pray.

 

I explained that prayer is simply talking to God as we would talk to a friend. I pointed out that she had told me her story with ease. Then I told her to talk to God just as she had talked to me and ask Him to forgive her. She began to pray, asking for forgiveness. In the nearly 50 years of my min­istry, I have never heard a prayer like hers. It was so touching that I wept.

 

God gave her forgiveness, and she had peace. She used to cry out in the night, but not after finding peace with herself and God.

 

Now this woman walked in the light (1 John 1:7).  She had fellowship with God (1 John 1:7).  Is there something burdening you?  Christ says to us in Matthew 11: 28 -29, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest…unto your souls."   He is open to hear our confession.  He is faith faithful and just.  He will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.   Will we accept His invitation?

--
Raul Diaz
www.wolfsoath.com

Forgiveness in Room 283

Forgiveness in Room 283

KENNETH H. LIVESAY was a chaplain in a hospital. He tells this story of an incident that had a dramatic impact in his life.

THE NURSE CAME TO the room where I was visiting a patient. “Chaplain,” she said, “the woman in room 283 wants to talk with you.”

I found my way to room 283. As I seated myself in a chair near the bed the woman asked, “Chaplain, will you forgive me?”

Somewhat stunned, I replied, “I have visited with you several times, and you have never offended me in any way. What do you mean, will I forgive you?”

Then she told her story. “When I was a young woman I began to sell my body for money. This went on for some time until I discovered I had a venereal disease. It was necessary for me to have surgery to remove the diseased organs of my body. Later I married, but I never told my husband about my past life. Chaplain, I have carried the burden of my sin all of my life, and I cannot bear it any longer. You are the only person to whom I have told this story. Please, forgive me.”

I told her that she had not sinned against me, but she had violated her body and sinned against God. Then I said, “Let me share some good news with you.” Turning to 1 John 1:9, I read, “‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrigh¬teousness’” (NIV).

“How do I confess?” she asked.

‘‘We simply pray to God and ask for forgiveness.”

She said, “Will you pray, asking God to forgive me? I don’t know how to pray.

I explained that prayer is simply talking to God as we would talk to a friend. I pointed out that she had told me her story with ease. Then I told her to talk to God just as she had talked to me and ask Him to forgive her. She began to pray, asking for forgiveness. In the nearly 50 years of my min¬istry, I have never heard a prayer like hers. It was so touching that I wept.

God gave her forgiveness, and she had peace. She used to cry out in the night, but not after finding peace with herself and God.

Now this woman walked in the light (1 John 1:7). She had fellowship with God (1 John 1:7). Is there something burdening you? Christ says to us in Matthew 11: 28 -29, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest…unto your souls.” He is open to hear our confession. He is faith faithful and just. He will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Will we accept His invitation?

How develop meaningful relationships

How develop meaningful relationships 

Rafael and Ralph were friends growing up.  But, as often happens, after high school they went on their separate ways.  Twenty years passed by before they were in contact again; thanks to one of those internet social networks.  They were catching up one day by instant messaging.  The regular questions were asked: about work, social status, where they live, etc.  It occurred to Ralph also to ask about Rafael's family.  Rafael replied with little briefs about them.  Then Ralph asked about their old friends from the neighborhood.  Rafael said he knew nothing about them.  He had not been in touch for a long time.  This made Ralph think.  "What happened?" 

Ralph was reminded of a conversation he had with another friend, Bruce, about the same subject.  Bruce had said that growing up he had a close network of childhood friends.  Their parents were always together.  In time, these gatherings faded which prompted Bruce to ask his Dad, "What happened?"  To which Dad answered, "Bruce, sometimes people grow apart."  Bruce then vowed to his Dad, "That is not going to happen with my friends and me."  Bruce told me that he had live to eat his words.  He was not in touch with none of his childhood, youth, nor college friends.  Did they not care for each other?  Was the relationship a fake?   

The truth is that while the teacher's quarterly encourages us to develop kind, caring relationships, we end up breaking apart our relationships.  Every day we hear about fights between family members, spouses, friends, coworkers, etc.  And, other times we hear of people who used to be close giving the same reason for their separation.  "I do not know, I guess we grew apart."   Yes, it is true that not all relationships will last a lifetime.  But, they can be meaningful.  But how can we do this?

John wrote the answer in his letters.  He is very clear that only those in the Light love their brother.  Let us read, 

1Jn2:9 He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now.

1Jn2:10 He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him.

1Jn2:11 But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes. 

In 1 John 3: 10 -11 he says that only the righteous love their brother.  Let us read, 

1Jn3:10 In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother.

1Jn3:11 For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.

 

John further explains in a little below in the same chapter, that only those who have passed to Life love their brothers.  He then compares this type of love to Jesus' love.  Jesus died for the brethren, so should we.  Let us read,     

1Jn3:14 We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death.

1Jn3:15 Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.

1Jn3:16 Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.

1Jn3:17 But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? 

Verse 15 has the key, to love like Jesus loved, eternal life must abide in you.  The only way eternal life can abide in you is if The Spirit of God dwells in you.  This kind of love we do not have naturally, but we can get it from God.  It is with this love that we love God, and therefore that we will love our brethren. 

1Jn4:20 If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?

1Jn4:21 And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also. 

As, John says in John 3:16, God shows this love in sending Christ to die for us.  He also says in 1 John 3:16 that Christ shows this love in dying for us.  When we have God's love, we show it to others in sacrificing for them, as well.  As John says in 1 John 3:17, when we love God we supply the needs of our brother, because we love them too.  It is only when we allow Christ to abide in us, that we will develop kind, caring, and meaningful relationships.  Many of them will not last long here, but, they may last eternally.